my future's so bright, i gotta wear shades..

man it just really sums up how im feeling lately.

i feel like a light bulb the size of california went off in my head. i get it now. it all makes sense. everything im dealing with is so cirucluar, and its been hard to fix everything, because they are all invovled together. i feel like i have so many ideas and thoughts, and wants. i feel like i have taken that step, that step to decide im moving. its time to move on. its scary as hell but its time to move on. this is my home and everything i made it, but i can do that again. this phase is coming to close very quickly, but its all good. i feel so ready to live a life again! have a life! i really have sacrificed a lot over my lifetime, and i feel like the big pay off is coming now. i feel motivated and excited about my future, even though i have no idea where its gonna go, or how im gonna do it, it doesnt matter. im going to just do it. try it out, see if it works..if it doesnt figure something else out. everything always works out if you try hard enough, even if its not exactly what you wanted, it leads you to something better and more fitting. i think through out life we all go through these trials several times, and some of us follow it, and some of us dont. but the people who dont are the unhappy people stuck in their mondane lives wishing for something to happen. well its all about making it happen, strike when the irons hot as they say.

i feel so blessed that i am such a free spirit. i felt so bogged down my whole life, but i am so adaptable, and can just go with the flow so easily that i can remake myself happy. i am happy. i am happy to be ready to move on. i feel like i really will enjoy these last few times out here. its so funny that me and jenna became such good friends recently, because now im moving, and they always say that happens. you meet those special people as your leaving, but its all for a reason too. i feel so lucky that i live the life i do. i have it made in the shade. i do what i want, not too many people can say that. people in LA live like that too, and same in san diego. people have free schedules and are happier. they exercise and eat well, and play hard too. im ready to be in the sun all day and just doing my thing, meeting my people and living the life most people want, in hollywood.

hollywood is the place to be at 30 i think.
So Cal here I come!