dude life is getting too weird. the past 13 days have been such a rollercoaster for me, ups and downs all the way. it started off kinda crazy, and only got worse, then started to look up a lot, and then i just got such a bumout. i really thought that maybe this thing would be cool to check out, maybe keep talking a bit, hang out, have a friend whos into the same music, and has a simaliar past, but fuck man, seriously how many times can i be let down so quickly?? i feel like i never even get the chance when it comes to the ones i like. then i have all these douches liking me, but they are all the same type of dude. dont really work, hang out with bad people, listen to shitty music, and get wasted too much. why cant i just find a dude whos cool, who im attracted to? thats the other thing, i can connect with dudes, but not on that way. it sucks.
i dont know is it where i live? i feel like im coming out of my shell a tad bit more than last year at this time. but i guess im being rash, because this year just started, and i do feel positive, i feel like my heart and soul are open to meet cool people and make new friends, and possibly a love interest. but i guess all i can do is just work on this business situation and keep busy. i think thats my key actually. all this sitting around and working so on and off isnt good for me. i need to be busy and productive, so that i feel better about myself and my positiion in life. then maybe ill know who and what im looking for, whereas right now im kinda just floating out in the middle of the ocean. im waiting for the lifeboat to come save me, but i just need to start paddling. oh man i come up with some good one liners, dont i? haha
waiting for the lifeboat, when i should really just start paddling. classic.
peace
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