the past week or so I've been involved in some serious drama..its so weird, i haven't been in drama in so long i totally forgot how silly it was. the funniest part is i had nothing to do with these issues, but the other people threw me in and got me all up in it. its so dumb..today was my final straw, i totally freaked out and let loose. i yelled at the top of my lungs, i made fists with my hands, i punched the couch in anger. it was terrible. i was so frustrated and could barely control my temper. afterward i was still stressed out even though it ended on an okay type of thing..so i seriously took a bong hit, and then called him back. we talked like normal people, and things were cool. i haven't worried about it since i hung up for the second time. its just so weird how sometimes things just need to happen. sometimes you just need a blow out to let that steam off, and i think its okay as long as the other person feels the same way. and as long as you realize your mistake and say sorry. communication is so important to just live by. words hurt. tones hurt. looks hurt. but all can be fixed with one conversation, its crazy how many people don't follow this simple rule of life.
on other notes, i feel lazy, unmotivated and scared. i just have no drive. what will give it to me? sometimes i find it, but i lose it just as fast. nothing keeps me going, nothing makes me think about it all day and want to immerse myself in it. i haven't found that love yet. i feel I'm on my way (meaning many things) i feel it all coming.i think i need to stop smoking so much weed, because its making me lazy and fat. i just want to eat the whole time I'm high. i sit there and stare at the TV, and want to eat food. i hold myself back from SO much. i feel outta control sometimes. well right now i feel too high and lazy to even finish typing. so peace yo
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