being ill helps you realize...

how important being well is. i got sick last night with the stomach flu, and i never had that before, and its terrible. it came out of nowhere and hit like a tornado. i havent thrown up in years, even with being drunk or anything. it does make me feel lonely though. i hate being sick and single. its so hard to do the simplest things, make food, take sofia outside to go to the bathroom, stoke the fire, get more firewood, etc. im hoping the new year will bring my health to be better. 

as for everything else, im kinda siked! im going home for a week in february, im really looking forward to it. i get like this every christmas though, but its better in a way to go home for my birthday rather than christmas, because its more crazy during the holidays, but february is just another day. and im turning 30 so it will be cool to be with my friends and family for it. im not going to be there for my actual birthday, but i will be there the whole week prior. it worked out well because we arent going on our caribean vacation anymore, so fuck it im going to philly. id really like to stick around longer, but last time i did that it sucked. a quick in and out will be best. i will have a small party for my birthday and see everyone i want to see. maybe i should leave on sunday rather than saturday, so i could party on saturday too. who knows i just gotta see how long i can be away cause of sofia. if remedy wants to watch her, then im all good, but she might only want her for a few days, not a week. ok i gotta go feeling ill again. 

xo